I hope everyone's holidays were good, and if not, well, here's hoping the new year is going better for you.

For Christmas I got an email, an Amazon gift certificate with a link to a scanner that should be compatible with my computer, and enough money to get it. It was from "The karmic nature of the universe."I'm blessed in that I know several people who would do this for me, so I truly have no idea who it was who sent it. So, thank you, thank you! to whomever it was who sent that to me. I'm very, -very- grateful. I'd hug you if I could.

Family - good and bad.

I've not been speaking to my brother for quite a while. I had my reasons, and they were valid. He was an asshole on several counts, and did some asshole things. Since my grandfather's death, we had tentatively sorted things out. I still had some uncertainties, but gradually, things were getting better. He did something on Christmas Eve that I appreciated, and that only made things progress further.

After New Years, it blew up again. This time, though, I was the one who was an asshole. Well, it was one of those things - I heard him say something on the phone (I wasn't eavesdropping, just noodling at a game, and he was speaking nearby when a particular comment got loud), I assumed, it ticked me off, we snapped at each other, and the amelioration ceased. My mother, being a mom, went to each, found out what happened, and came to me, telling me his side. On hearing the full story, I found out that I was, in fact, the one being an asshole. I ate crow, and apologized, and we straightened things out once more.

I went to my grandmother's on Christmas Eve, as is the family tradition. It was a very full house this year. I could and did handle the "sorry to hear about your cat" from most everyone, but then my father managed to stick his foot in his mouth about Rill, (unintentionally, of course - I know that) and upset me to the point I retreated to a back room to try and get a grip. My brother was very cool, and then my aunt was very uncool, trapping me and talking at length about -her- cats. I guess she thought that somehow would make me feel better. I don't pretend to understand it. That also Did Not Help. Once she finally quieted and I could get away, I escaped outside and down the road a little. I should have done that from the beginning. I breathed in the cold air, and looked up at stars and full moon, and I felt my irritation, my grief, my anger... all of it dissipate. It was like I could finally take a long breath out. It was quiet - no cars, no people, not even a dog barked but once. The moon made everything light and shadow, all shades of blue and silver and black. The shapes of trees were black profiles, but with detail - every little branch or needle outlined. No streetlights marred the sky - the only illumination came from lights on the occasional house in the distance, the stars and the moon. The longer I stood there, just looking, the better I felt. The tension that had wound me tight in the house eased. It was a beautiful night. Clear, no clouds. The sky - it made me laugh aloud when I noticed - the sky was like frosted glass. A lighter, somehow more solid dark gray-blue at the horizon, and stretching up, gradually fading until directly overhead, it was dark, dark blue, like someone had taken a hand and wiped it in a circle to peek down. I was standing in a world become a snowglobe, all the stars floating above.

Plans.

I'm working more the coming two weeks - covering for a coworker's vacation, and when she returns, she's covering mine. I'll be off to Further Confusion come Jan. 24, and once again, I'll be co-hosting a minotaur panel with Graveyard Greg. Unfortunately, the artist I'd commissioned to add a visual aspect (I wanted something new for the panel) has had a myriad of things both fortunate and not happen to them. So, it'll just be me and GG working off my outline again. It was a lot of fun last year though, so I'm hoping it'll be the same this year - even if the material is the same. I look forward to doing a lot of drawing in the Creator's Lounge, and hopefully finishing up the pics I still owe folks from the drawing meme - which I started about a year ago now. I'll have access to a scanner while there, and I intend to abuse it.