Many thanks for the well wishes and support you have given me - though I didn't have to opportunity or time to reply, it made me feel a little better to see them when I finally sat down.

My grandparents are home now, and so am I. My grandfather is still mending, slowly, my grandmother is slowly becoming unfrazzled, and overall, everyone is improving. Mr. B is doing just fine, been home for a week, and is off the oxygen tank he had to carry for a while. He has to quit smoking, but if he does, his condition won't get any worse, and he'll be fine. Since the alternative was 2-3 years of living, then in the hospital and on oxygen all the time, he decided it would be a good idea to stop smoking now. *smiles slightly*

Mithril, Rill for short, my cat, is another story. She has FIP, or feline infectious peritonitis. It's basically a terminal disease, and this is not necessarily because it kills them. A cat can live a long life with treatment to take care of symptoms, as long as it's the dry form, which Rill has. However, she's highly contagious, and will never stop shedding the virus. Sesu, my parent's cat, is going to be tested, and if she has the virus, then perhaps I'll think about keeping Rill, since she's an indoor only cat. If she doesn't, however, I have no choice but to put Rill down. Sesu is an indoor/outdoor cat, and I can't risk her eventually contracting the disease, then spreading it to other cats. Now, while statistically speaking, if one cat in a house has it, 90% of the time any other cat in the same home has it, Sesu is current on her vaccines, avoids Rill like the plague, and doesn't sleep in the same place, eat from the same dish, or even share the same water source. Sesu hates her guts. I'm not complaining. In this case, it may save her life. I'm hopeful that Sesu's test will be negative, even though it means that Rill would have to go down. I don't want to be responsible for the death of two cats, or more. If Sesu's positive, it's going to be very difficult anyway - keeping her inside has proven all but impossible before, however, if she's got FIP, there is absolutely no choice. She -must- stay inside, or the risk of infecting - and killing - other cats she might come in contact with is too great.

I am... not doing so well with this, I'll admit. I knew Rill was due for her vaccines this year, but I didn't remember what month. If it was early in the year, I opened the window for her to get sick, and am responsible, even though I had fully intended to get her shots after my tax rebate. Well, I used my rebate for her, all right, but it was for the blood tests that told me she had FIP, and will be for antibiotics to treat her symptoms until a final decision is made. The question of how she got it, being indoor only, is one that will probably never be answered. It's possible, but not probable that Sesu brought it in from outside, and Rill, with a lowered immunity, contracted it... but again, they avoid it other like the plague, and the virus isn't that stable in the environment. Meaning it shouldn't live long enough to infect if just tracked in, since it's transmitted mostly by close contact. *sighs* I was blaming myself for a while, and I won't lie, the vet made me feel like it was my fault. I asked questions of the vet tech who teaches my animal health class at school, and she said that Rill could have had it since I got her - that many cats can be asymptomatic for years before finally showing signs of having the virus. She herself had an FIP cat that eventually died of old age, not the disease, since she treated him based on symptoms, and she had another cat in the house that never contracted it, albeit that that's extremely rare, and she made a point of it. The test for FIP is expensive, and not usually run... so there's no telling.

Anyway, so that's what's going on on that front. On the school side of things, I have dropped my creative writing class. The teacher is a ditz, I'm not getting what I want or need out of the class, and with my grandparents' accident, I didn't make it to a few classes anyhow, and if you miss too many, you get flunked. I'm not worried about the grade, as I've taken the class before, and gotten an A. All my transcripts will show is I took it again later, when I didn't need to, and dropped. I'm still in the animal health class, and the drawing class, both of which are challenging, and I'm doing all right in. Though I hate India ink. And charcoal. Charcoal more. But I'm learning a lot - I only wish I could display some of the things I've done. It's all boring to look at, being still life and people, but it shows what I'm learning, and what I hope will carry over into my preferred artistic endeavors.

But for a promise made to a friend, I'd probably have dropped the animal class too. My parents want me to apply for the vet tech program, but after what I did to Rill, I'm no longer sure I should even be in the field. I didn't keep track of her vaccine date like I should have - how she got FIP doesn't change that - nor did I get her immediate medical attention, because I had the hubris to think I knew what she had, a harmless respiratory infection, that she seemed to be combating well enough. I should have known better, and I didn't, but I thought I did. And as a result... well, you've already read that. My stepfather has smacked me over the head and told me to apply anyhow, that learning will make sure that sort of mistake doesn't happen. My mother has told me I can't blame myself, and give up on what I like to do, that getting certified will help with all the other problems, and that it's what I've wanted to do. My best friend has said I shouldn't give up on my dreams, and dragged a promise from me that I'll see the class through, at least. This is not a plea for attention, nor a sidelong begging for encouragement. This is simply what's going on in my little pea-brain at the moment, and that's what this sort of thing is supposed to be for. In fact, if you comment, I ask you not comment on this portion of what I've said. It's something I'll have to make up my own mind on. Later all.