I am weary. Physically and mentally, I'm tired. This is only partially from the internship, which is rather demanding, though in a good way. I almost wish it would last longer. I think I get in better shape day by day, if only because instead of standing still, I'm moving. I'm nowhere near where I need to be, but though I'm beat as hell, I feel... fairly good at the end of a day. Well. Assuming I haven't screwed something up that day. Been too much of that, lately. I can't seem to catch a break with one of the vets. Learning too slow. Moving too slow. Doing it wrong.

I know every clinic has their own way of doing things, but it's hard when you thought you had something down only to have to relearn it again. Frustrating.

Still. Par for the course, and I think I could handle it, except for the death knell that sounded the other day. I'd gotten the car into the shop. Looked like a busted water pump. Okay. $285 dollars. Ow, but doable. My stepfather said he'd put it on his credit card and I could pay the credit card bill. Figured... roughly 11 months before it was paid off. All right. Unpleasant, but more than feasible.

Except it wasn't the water pump. They replaced it, wouldn't start, took another look. End result? Either a bad head gasket, or a cracked head. The cheaper former will cost me $1200 to fix. The more expensive latter will run me $2-300 dollars more than that. My car is worth maybe $2000. Really, likely less. It was worth that when I bought it, some 3 or 4 years ago. Still. I don't have a choice. I certainly can't afford to buy another. Brad's still footing the bill. I'm still paying him back.

If nothing else, I always pay my debts.

I hate being in debt. It's another failure.

*sighs* Dammit.

I am NOT a happy minotaur.

My car died on the way home from the clinic on Friday. There's a friggin' huge leak in the radiator, as water spews out as fast as it's put in. It was 10 p.m. before I got home, and I had to leave my car at my grandmother's house. I'm now having to borrow my mother's car, and thus, either ferry or be ferried about because she also has work and places to be. No mechanics are open due to the holiday weekend. I'll probably be able to get the car in someplace on Wednesday.

I'm volunteering 40 hours a week at the clinic. I'm getting paid for working at Kmart, one day of the week. I'm goddamn broke for big things like, oh... car repair, though I'd been doing good at stretching my last paycheck to cover my bills during this time of little income. HAD. Past tense.

And. Now my brother and his girlfriend are coming over. Be here on Thursday. Might leave on Friday, might stay through to Saturday, maybe Sunday.

Fucking perfect.

*snarls*

However. That venom out of my system, my thoughts are with those of my friends or those close to them who are having -real- bad times. The kind that change life forever, instead of just a week or two. I'll light a candle for you all this evening. Take care.