Finished up a pic that's been needing coloring for a while. Png keeps the quality so much better than jpg. Pity it eats up so much space. I'm not going to be able to display too many. Either that or it's just time to clean all the crap out of my website. Old stuff and unused stuff. Overhaul stuff. I just might, too, if I keep up this pattern of not sleeping. Least it's something to do. Anyhow. For your pleasure, a rat anthro in color, as well as the now colored winged anthro tiger.

Also posted, minotaur poetry by Miguel Ettema. Good stuff.

Right. Well, that went quicker than I thought. New and finished stuff up on elfwood. Forgot to add the updated version of New Eyes, so that's next. Not much else to say right now.

I am weary of this song.
It will not go away.
It simply changes, in the details.
In the beat of day to day.
I am tired of this ache,
This persistent haunting tune.
Days that pass too slowly,
And days that end too soon.

And sleep runs on before me,
And I have left the sun behind.
All I have is breaking.
And all I get is time.
Something in me just stopped working.
Something in me just won’t care.
I’m so tired of being lonely,
But not brave enough to share.

How do I tell them, really?
That this is nothing you want to know.
That I would rather go on hurting,
Than wound another soul.
How to tell them all I’m tired,
How to refuse the heart in hand.
My song of solitude is rising,
A solo without the band.

I can feel the warmth it offers,
You think it doesn’t tempt?
I want to feel it wrap around me.
Leave the rain and wet.
It’s been a long hard battle.
You think I do not fight?
I’ve warred every daylight’s dawning.
Every descending night.

Inner battles are always the hardest.
Inner turmoil always the worst.
Some hearts have cores of darkness,
And some are just plain cursed.
Fate is nothing more than defeat,
I’ll take destiny any day.
At least then I have a choice.
And it matters what I say.

Another long night waning.
Another dawn ahead.
Another hour wasted.
Another daybreak fled.
Sun and moon begin your dance,
And I will begin mine.
It’s a long long way to fall,
And even longer way to climb.

Didn't sleep again last night, crashed at last around 5 a.m. Who's surprised? Not I. What is annoying is that over the past two days I've had three effing nosebleeds. It's either the heat - starting to get warmer here, good old California after all - or the stress. Probably a combination of both. Anyway. I finally finished a short story I've had dangling for years, and sent it as well as Wake to Dreams and a short story/prologue thing I've got to elfwood. Now it's just a matter of waiting for it to update.

For lack of anything else to do, I've also put them on my site here, though I tend to want to wait until they're a bit more polished before doing so. Eh. I can make changes when I want. Not like I lack the time, anymore. So. On the site, here is Wake to Dreams (which is a first draft, so will be changing in the future), and Partnership, and A Meeting of Minotaur and Dragon. Yeah, I know, not the most imaginitive title, but the thing is old. Well. Except for the end and some editing throughout. I sent it off to the person who requested it, and hopefully, they'll at least be pleased with it.

Kaz

It's been a damn long time since I stayed up all night writing. And it's been a damn long time even since then that I've written a short story, much less, all at once. Nevertheless, this is what I have done, and on an all new tale, no less. It's a first draft, and I'm sleep deprived, so I've only stuck it on my seldom used livejournal.

Yeah, yeah, I know it's redundant to have this and that - that's why only rough stuff if anything at all goes there, or stuff related to this one LJ community I'm a part of. So why stick the story there? Easy. It's got a place for comments. Go tell me what's wrong with it that I can't see because I've not slept yet. So I can fix it.

Mrrrm. Today. (Well, technically yesterday... but I've said before that today doesn't end for me until I've slept.) Today I got some rather nifty minotaur poetry in an email from a friend. If I get permission, I'll stick it up here or on the site in the relevant place. It brightened my day.

For about five minutes.

No fault of the writer or the poetry, mind. It's just I finally got a letter from the city shelter. The official kiss-off form type, not the second interview looking good type.

Which spawned the orgy of writing I have posted. An idea presented by another friend in passing, and a halfway agreement to try and write a short story around a concept by the weekend - likely never to have been finished past a paragraph, honestly, especially with my track record - got the benefit of my sudden depression.

I take it back. Guess angst is great creative fuel. Just add insomnia and viola. My jaw hurts from clenching it all night. I did some drawing too. I'd show you, but still no scanner.

But at least, sore muscles aside, I feel empty now. So. I'm going to bed. To sleep, perchance to dream.

This is for all ill-fated fellows,
Unborn and unbegot.
For them to read when they're in trouble,
and I am not.

-- A.E. Houseman.

Yeah. A.E. Houseman is one of my favorite poets when I'm depressed. How'd ya guess?

Kaz

Well. Crawling progress made on one short story. Depression just isn't the fuel it used to be, I suppose. But, even at a snail's pace, there is some. With any luck, I'll finish one of the oldest story fragments about the time I get a new job, which will then eat up my time to write.

*snorts* Sorry. Just getting a little snarly. I finally filed for unemployment, something I really rather dislike. I have a job, I should be able to -work-. Well. Not quite, even then. I've been doing better, and today, I went to the bank to depost my last check from the vet hospital, which finally arrived. A whopping $181 bucks with some odd change. It'll pay a couple of the bills, though, so I'm thankful there's any at all. Still, I have more that are due, and not enough money. Then, I started doing a few minor things around the house that I haven't been up to lately because of my back. Laundry, a little cleaning. That was a mistake. *sighs* Though I felt better, evidently I shouldn't have done it, because after doing a couple things, my back started hurting again. I took some more of the prescription pain pills and sat down in the chair a while. It got better when the medication kicked in, but it's still disheartening. I suppose I shouldn't be impatient and let everything heal, but I've been taking it easy, and I've never had a pulled muscle last this long. *grumbles* Pain in the tail.

I suppose it was a pride issue with the unemployment. It feels to me like a failure though, being unable to support myself without help. *taps a claw meditatively on the desk* Well. For a protracted period. Short term help I've not liked, but appreciated in the past, and I pay back my debts first thing when I recover. I have tried to get other jobs. The city shelter still hasn't called back, and when I made inquiries, I found out the opening has been pushed back. Again. So they're extending the round of initial interviews. And the other possibility has also not gotten back to me, though I've tried to call. No news after an interview is not good news. Mreh. *lashes tail irritably and snatches a book* Maybe some reading will help.

I to my perils
Of cheat and charmer
Came clad in armor
By stars benign.
Hope lies to mortals
And most believe her
But man's deciever
Was never mine.

-- A.E. Houseman.